


Half Alive

by solkat_homestuck69



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-22 09:06:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solkat_homestuck69/pseuds/solkat_homestuck69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So basically, this is an AU were Sollux and Karkat share a dorm in college and they grow close over the four years they're stuck with each other. After they have both graduated, Sollux proposes to Karkat, who says yes. Things spiral down after that, leading to a road of pain and loss for Sollux Captor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything Was Fine...

Your relationship had started off so well... You don’t even know how it had come to this. You sat cross legged against your and Karkat’s bedroom door, trying to block out the screaming and banging on the other side. Tears slipped down your face as you hugged your knees up to your chest, burying your face into them. 

“Sollux! Open the fucking door this instant you insufferable prick!” Your ex-boyfriend’s voice screamed at you, making you cry even harder. Deep red blood dribbled down the side of your face from the small cut on your forehead. Your yellow jacket was now orange from the gash on your chest, throbbing with pain. 

Taking in a shaky breath, you stood, propping your desk chair up against the door knob to keep Karkat from opening it. You grabbed your duffel bag, packing all your belongings into it. It was almost overflowing by the time you got all the necessities into it. Your clothes, your laptop, the few games you had bought with your own money, your wallet, phone and charger, a few notebooks, an extra pair of shoes, a sleeping bag, and a pillow. Silent tears streamed down your face as you unlocked the window and made your way onto the small part of roof below it. You swung the bag to rest on your shoulder, away from the still bleeding wound. 

You pressed the soiled towel that had already been on it harder against it, hoping to stop the bleeding. Your head was slightly hazy as you jumped down from the shingles and landed in the soft grass. You looked up at the house that you used to call home, choking back a sob. 

“Goodbye, Karkat. I really do wish the betht for you...” With that, you quickly walked up to the driveway, climbing into your black Chevrolet Cruze and tossing your bag to the side. You started the ignition and quickly swerved out of the driveway, looking back to see the furious albino trying to chase you on foot. You cleared your throat, speeding out of view, feeling a part of your chest aching with loss. 

 

~4 Years Earlier~

A smile tugged at your lips as you did a once-over to the short man on your left. He caught you staring, glaring at you coldly. “What the fuck do you want, asshat?” He growled, his lip twitching in anger. 

“Oh nothing, jutht enjoying the view.” Giving him a sly smile, you winked, turning your attention back to the paper in your hands. He was blushing a bright pink, his eyes wide with shock before he glared at you again. 

“Fuck off, you prick.” He frowned, twisting the wedding ring on his finger. “Thollux Captor. Nithe to meet you...” You trailed off, twisting to face him. 

“What’s it to you, Lispy?” He snarled, sitting on his bed with his eyes focused intently on the book in his lap. 

“Well, thinthe we’ll be thpending four yearth in the thame dorm room, we might ath well get acquainted.” You pushed the 3D glasses up the bridge of your nose, looking at him expectantly. 

“Karkat Vantas. Now if you would mind, I’m trying to read.” He snapped, hunching over his book. 

“No, I don’t mind.” You slunk off your bed, plopping yourself down onto his, sitting right next to him. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He hissed, scrambling to move away from the taller and leaner man progressing on him. 

“Oh pleathe, don’t pretend you don’t like it.” You smirked, crawling into his personal bubble, inches away from his face. You stopped your advancing when your mouth was right above his neck, noticing he’d stretched farther to allow you access. Holding back a laugh, you took deep breaths to make sure you didn’t get an erection. Your breath tickled Karkat’s pale skin, and he shivered. You smiled, sticking out your tongue and lightly dragging it across his sweet-tasting skin. A moan escaped his throat and you cracked, snickering before pulling away and bursting into a fit of laughter. 

“Wow, KK, did you get a little too exthited?” Your eyes traveled down to the hard lump in his pants to his horrified face. 

“God damn this is going to be a long four years.” He groaned, hugging a pillow to his pelvis as you continued to laugh, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. His face was bright red as he shoved his nose in the book he had been reading earlier. He was right, this was going to be the longest, yet most hilarious next four years in your existence. 

 

~Graduation~ 

You smiled widely as you walked, hand in hand with Karkat, to get to graduation on time. The albino glanced at you, a soft smile playing on his lips before he masked it with annoyance. 

“You’re a real idiot sometimes you know?” He said, eyeing your entwined hands. 

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot, KK.” You smiled, bumping your hip against his side. He returned your bump with one of his own, a small laugh escaping his smiling lips. 

“Asshole.” He muttered jokingly, still smiling. You played with a strand of his white, fluffy hair, looking into his bright loving eyes. There was a spark in them that you could always identify as his love for you. Over the four years you too had shared a dorm, you grew closer and soon were an official couple. At the age 23, you, Sollux Captor, were the happiest you could ever be. You and Karkat got your diplomas, going out for a nice dinner afterwards. Dating for three years now, you were used to the stares you got when people noticed your hands locked together, ignoring most of the judgemental comments people scoffed at you. 

“Tho, KK, what would you like for dinner? My treat.” You grinned at him, enjoying the smile gracing his features. You were the only one who could tame the small ball of fury and it pleased you. You felt the heavy weight in your pocket, making you twitch in nervousness. 

Tonight, you were finally going to propose to your boyfriend. During the middle of your meal, you cleared your throat, looking up at the short man in front of you. A blush burned bright on your cheeks and sweat formed on your brow. You slowly knelt down on one knee in front of him, your loving gaze burning into his shocked and somewhat panicked one. 

“Kk, I jutht... We’ve been together for three yearth now, and I’ve jutht rethently realized that thothe three yearth were the happietht of my life. Tho now, June 23, 2012, I am athking you to make me even happier and marry me.” You stumbled through your proposal, your eyes desperately searching Karkat’s for an answer. His face was bright red and he looked like he might cry. He took a shaking breath, everyone in the restaurant went silent, waiting for his answer. 

“Finally, you ask! Yes!” He stood and smashed his lips to yours as tears started to roll down his face. You eagerly kissed him back and slipped the white-gold band on his finger. Murmers of ‘Aww’ and ‘Fags’ were muttered around them, barely registering in your mind. You were drowning in the blissful state of the moment, pulling away from Karkat’s lips for air. He smiled at you, and you smiled back, squeezing his short frame against your own. 

“I love you KK...” You muttered into his soft hair. “I love you too, you idiot.” He muttered into your black dress shirt. 

 

You were happily married to Karkat Vantas on September, 12. 2012. That’s when everything started to go downhill.


	2. My Body May Be Fixed But My Soul Will Never Be The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux stumbles to an old friend for help, finding himself not able to escape the nightmare of his life even when he's asleep.

~Present Day~

You parked in front of an old friend’s house around one in the morning. You hoped she wouldn’t mind as you grabbed your duffel and climbed the porch steps in front of the small house and knocked on her door. You nervously shifted your weight from foot to foot, waiting for her to open the door. Just before you gave up, the green door was opened, revealing a petite girl with short hair and a green robe. 

“Pawllux?” She gasped, realizing who you were. You nodded slightly, examining her. She hadn’t changed much over the years, she was slightly taller now, with dark brown hair that curled up around her shoulders. Dark freckles speckled her tanned skin, practically covering her face. She still wore the furry cat hat but had, thankfully, ditched the fake tail. 

She gave you a once over, her eyes traveling slowly from your blond, spiked hair to your bruised and bloodied skin, to the stained jacket and white shirt. A soft gasp met your ears and you looked back up into her bright green eyes, noticing where she was looking. She yanked you inside, closing the door behind you and rushing to grab medical supplies from the other room. 

“Sit down in the kitchen, I’ll be there in a second.” She huffed, rushing off on light feet. Seconds later, she was dashing into the room, her robe torn off in a frenzy. She stood before you in a light grey shirt that hugged her slim body in an attractive way and loose grey sweatpants. 

“Take your shirt off.” She glared at you, impatient. You slowly unzipped your jacket, making a slight hissing noise between your teeth as you tugged it off, followed by your t-shirt. You looked down at the bleeding cut for the first time, watching as blood pooled and dripped down your slim torso. 

No wonder it wouldn’t stop bleeding, he got you deep. She tsked, wetting a washcloth before returning to you and cleaning the tender flesh. You closed your eyes in pain, holding back curse words. 

She grabbed a needle and thread, warning you before she started sewing your skin back together. You clenched your muscles, muttering a soft, ‘fuck.’ as she did so. After what felt like hours, which was actually only minutes, she cut the thread and cleaned off the excess blood before wrapping many layers of gauze around it. 

“So... What happened?” She asked, breaking the silence. You just grunted, standing up and leaning against the wall behind you. She slowly advanced on you, unsure of her steps, before she noticed the wedding ring that claimed you as Karkat’s. you looked down, meeting her gaze. A tear rolled down your cheek, as you twisted it off and shoved it in your pocket. 

“Pawllux...” She whined, begging for an answer. 

“Could I pleathe have a glath of water?” You whispered, your voice cracking. 

“Sure...” She glared at you, knowing you were stalling. You stared at the floor to avoid her gaze. She came back with a clear glass and led you into the living room. She sat down, curling into a ball before glancing at you. 

“You know, it’s furry unfair fur me when you just show up at my door without an explanation...” She continued, shooting you an accusing glare. You frowned, looking at the white carpet below you. You slipped off your converse and stood to take them to the door before walking back and sitting next to her on the couch. 

“Nep... I jutht... I promithe to tell you what happened... but I’m not really feeling the betht right now.” You hesitantly met her hypnotizing eyes, watching her nod and give you a sympathetic smile. 

“Okay, but only if you purromise.” She rolled her R, like she used to when you were kids. Nepeta Leijon was a childhood friend of yours, but when your dad passed away, leaving you alone, you left at age 16 to live by yourself. You never even met your mother, considering she left when you were a baby. Nepeta twined your fingers together and snuggled up to your side. A soft purr escaped her lips as she smiled up at you, a very light blush on her cheeks. 

“I missed you, Pawllux.” She whispered, resting her head in the crook of your neck. You hummed softly, a smile on your face. 

“I missed you too, Nep.” You turned your attention to the television in front of you both, eventually falling asleep on the couch with Nepeta wrapped in your arms. 

_“Sollux!” You flinched, slinking down the stairs to tend to your husband’s needs._

_“Yeth, Kk?” You huff, making your way into the kitchen to most likely cook him something. He growled, low and threatening, before facing you._

_“Make me something to eat then come watch this with me.” He ordered, taking a swig from the bottle of beer in his hand. You flinched, though agreeing and tending to his needs. You cooked his favorite food, mac and cheese, before bringing the warm noodles out to Karkat and sitting next to him on the couch._

_“Here...” You set the bowl on the coffee table, sitting on the opposite side of the couch from your calm husband._

_“Karkat...?” You asked, feeling shame in your voice._

_“Yeah, the fuck do you want?” He huffed, shooting you a glare._

_“I was... I was just... I was just thinking that maybe... we should...”_

_“Spit it out!!” He snarled._

_“Maybeweshouldgetdivorced?” You said in all one breath. Karkat’s shocked face turned into one of rage and anger._

_“WHAT?!” He yelled, looking at you in disbelief. You flinched back, tears stinging your eyes. You had never seen him this angry before. Sure he had taken his frustration out on you before, beating you sometimes, but he had never been this angry._

_The first swing was to your stomach, making you gasp in pain. He continued to pound his bare fists into your thin body as you choked on a small amount of blood in your throat. When he stopped punching you, you sighed in relief, only to jolt at the sound of glass breaking._

_You watched as he broke his beer bottle against the table, coming at you with his arm raised. Knowing if you didn’t move, you’d be dead within the next hour, you scrambled up and tried to run upstairs._

_He grabbed your arm, twisting you around and smashing your lips together in a painful kiss as he slashed the sharp glass across your chest. You kneed him in the stomach, pushing him to the floor as you ran up the stairs and locked yourself in your shared room._

_You sobbed loudly, snot and tears running down your face as the door was kicked down. Karkat rushed in, punching you right in the face. You heard a crack and felt a sharp pain in your nose. You knew it was broken, and you knew you were going to die. He grabbed your shirt and yanked you to your feet._

_“I thought you knew better than to make me angry Sollux. We were a team, I thought you loved me...” He positioned the bottle in front of your neck, spitting out three little words before he ended your life._

_“I hate you.” With that, he jammed the bottle into your throat, watching you die in front of him._

You woke up panting, a slim figure pressed up against your body. She grumbled in her sleep, cuddling closer to you in the darkness of the living room. When your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you noticed the familiar features and realized that you were spooning with the younger girl.

You quickly sat up, trying not to wake her as you stood up to get a drink. She whimpered, missing the warmth that had just been beside her. You grimaced, sure you had feelings for her, but they were really nothing, not compared to what you still felt for Karkat. You sighed, raiding her fridge for something to relieve your dry throat. 

“P-pawllux?” A voice behind you made you jump, but you kept rummaging around for a decent drink. Pushing the healthy stuff out of the way, you grabbed a cold beer from the back and popped open the lid, taking a sip. 

“Yeah?” You finally answered, shutting the fridge and making your way back to her. She yawned, turning a lamp on. 

“What’re mew doing up? It’s furee in the morning.” Her voice dripped with exhaustion, making you feel guilty for waking her. 

“Jutht a bad dream, nothing theriouth.” You were too tired to try and cover up your lisp. You sat down next to her, pulling her into your lap. She curled up comfortably, avoiding your groin. She purred softly, watching you with careful and kind eyes. 

“Wanna talk?” She asked cautiously. You quickly shook your head, your eyelids drooping.

“Nah, I’m fine. It was nothing.” You lied, trying to shake the feeling of pain and regret in the pit of your stomach. 

“Jutht go back to thleep.” You muttered, running your fingers through her soft curly brown hair. Her green eyes tiredly searched your blue and brown ones, giving up and fluttering shut. 

“Try to get some more sleep as well, bee boy.” She gave you a soft smile before twisting in your lap to get comfortable. 

“Yeah...” You sighed, knowing fully well if you fell back asleep you’d be plagued with another nightmare. Eventually, your subconsciousness took over and you were once again thrown into your nightmare, This was going to be a long night.


End file.
